It does seem a long time since i blogged but i was using my old computer again...remember the 0ne with the d0dgy 0......i cracked the screen in this laptop which i only got back today and within a period of 4 days i had cracked the screen...dropped my sony ericsson W850i down the toilet in Newcastle Airport so i was ok about it as i had my Prada touch screen mobile at home in the south...when i did get to my home in surrey i washed this phone by accident in the washing machine so i went for weeks with no mobile and a dodgy laptop, all is back to normal now.
I had a nice easter in the north and commuted down to London via the weird and wonderful Terminal 5.I am also the proud owner of a very nice expensive car...i will say nothing about what it is in case prying eyes are reading this and there are some people i want to know NOTHING about my life anymore,they are not part of it, they never will.
Looking forward to my cruise in May from Venice with all of my friends, balcony cabin again, HOW POSH!!!
Dad is well and been looking at new cars himself and he has asked me for a loan which i will oblige, there are richer people within our family but all they are interested in is themselves and making sure they are ok and F... anyone else....i can not write the word selfish big enough to cover their self importance......the expression ME ME ME comes to mind!!!!!
Thursday, 24 April 2008
Monday, 14 April 2008
Y0U KN0W THAT Y0UR A FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN.....................
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN.........
Type: Just for Fun - Inside Jokes
Description: 1. You can eat a 4 course meal standing at the kitchen counter
2. You search for a button to flush the toilet
3. You look for the "crew line" at the grocery store
4. You can pack for a 2 week trip to Europe in 1 roll-aboard
5. All of your pens have different hotel names on them
6. You NEVER unpack
7. You can recognize pilots by the backs of their heads-but not by their faces
8. You can tell from 70 yards away if a piece of luggage will fit in the overhead bin
9. You care about the local news in a city three states away
10. You can tie a neck scarf 36 ways
11. You know at least 25 uses for air sickness bags-none of which pertain to vomit
12. You understand and actually use the 24-hour clock
13. You own 2 sets of uniforms: fat and thin
14. You don't think in "months"-you think in "bid packs"
15. You always point with two fingers
16. You get a little too excited by certain types of ice
17. You stand at the front door and politely say "Buh-bye, thanks, have a nice day" when someone leaves your home
18. You can make a sentence using all of the following phrases: "At this time," "For your safety," "Feel free," and "As a reminder"
19. You know what's on the cover of the current issues of In Touch, Star, and People magazines
20. You stop and inspect every fire extinguisher you pass, just to make sure the "gauge is in the green"
21. Your thighs are covered in bruises from armrests and elbows
22. You wake up and have to look at the hotel stationery to figure out where you are
23. You refer to cities by their airport codes
24. You actually understand every item on this list
25. Everytime the door bell rings you look up at the ceiling.
26. You change into you "galley shoes" to cook dinner at home!
27. You open your bathroom doors at home slowly incase someone forgot to lock it.
28. You only know 250 or 350 degrees on your home oven
29. When you ask your spouse when they will be coming home from work you ask for their "ETA"
30. You can spot out an airplane from the ground above and tell the other person what airline it is!
31. You go through each room at your friends place looking for magazines to read!
32. You bring home different grocery bags full of goodies that you can't get in your home town! and tell a story about it!
33. You know better NOT to date a pilot!
34. Your a fire fighter, a nurse, a security officer and a server all in one!
35. Your a GREAT multi - tasker!
36. You have mastered the art of walking very quickly down the aisle and not catching anyone's eye.
37. Your at a friends party and you start wiping your hands on their curtains.
38.You call for the car doors to be armed and cross checked before pulling away.
39.you answer your phone by saying "Hi its ..... at "position"
40. when you try and put the foot brake on your shopping cart.
41.When releasing your seatbelt in the car, you try to 'lift the top portion of the buckle and pull apart" and are confused when you can't find it.
42. When sitting in the backseat of your friends car, you check the seat pocket for garbage.
43. when your friends or family ask what time it is, you ask in what time zone!
44. When you're really tired and are staying in for the night, you tell you're friends you're 'slam-clicking'.
45. you remember the hotel phone numbers better than your home phone number.
46. You see rubbish dropped on the floor in your own home and instead of bending down to pick it up, you kick it under the sofa.
47. You have 400 mobile numbers in your adress book of crew you still wanted to meet up with....but when you finally get the time and browes for numbers you cannot put their faces and names together!
48. You locate all the exits when on public transport and learn the door operations.
49. You are standing in an elevator in your hotel and cant remember what floor you're supposed to go to, or what your room number is.
50. You can never make definite plans, otherwise you know you'll be delayed/called out, for sure!
51. You can't help saying goodbye to friends or anyone without sounding patronising... "b'bye now.. bye!
52. when you've finished your dinner you throw the dirty plate in the cupboard and kick the door shut.
53. If you check your breast pocket for a pen when you are going to write a shopping list at home.
54. You automatically uncross your legs, sit back, and fold your arms across your lap when you hear an engine rev up, whether you're a passenger on a flight that day or just in the car!
55. Every time someone ask's a question your reply is ... 'Just bear with me, or standby...
56. when ur going out from the hotel on a layover u smile and greet ppl u meet in the lifts... and ur not even in uniform! lol
57. You take out one blanket from the overhead bin or closet....and you hide it behind your back, running fast so no one sees it so you can use it!!!!
58. You know the water gague is showing empty and you grab a bottle of water and start washing your hands!
59. You spin around in the aft galley and yell, i love my job, i love my job....
60. You carry around ultra concentrated spray for the smells that come out of the lavoratory to protect you and your fellow co-workers!
61. You carry around a sharpie marker!
62. You work 18 hour days then go home and start cleaning up after someone else!
63. You have soo much time off you have 2 jobs!
64. Your dead heading on a flight and your sleeping and you wake up when they say "doors for departure and cross check" or when you hear the high low chimes in the cabin!
65. You tell people to turn off their cellphones or ipods.
66. If someone is smoking you show them the sign and remind them not to smoke!
(updated for crew members, written by you!)
So you want to be a flight attendant?
Go to a resale store and find an old, navy suit that an army sergeant might have worn. Add a white shirt and a tie. Wear that same outfit for three consecutive days.
Go to an airport and watch airplanes take off for several hours. Pretend you are standing by for them and they are all full. Go home. Return to the airport the very next day and do the same thing again.
Fill several large boxes with rocks. Lift them over your head and place them on the top shelf of a closet. Slam the door shut until the boxes fit. Do this until you feel a disc slip in your back.
Turn on a radio. Be sure to set it between stations so there is plenty of static. Turn on the vacuum cleaner and garbage disposal. Run them all night.
Remove the covers from several T.V entrees. Place them in a hot oven. Leave the food in the oven until it's completely dried out. Remove the hot trays with your bare hands. Serve to your family. Don't include anything for yourself. Serve your family a beverage one hour after they've received their meal. Make them remain in their seats during this time. Ask them to scream at you and complain about the service. Scrounge uneaten rolls off the plates for you to eat 6 hours later when you're really hungry. Place a straight-backed chair in a closet facing a blank wall. Use a belt to strap yourself into it. Eat the rolls you saved from your family's meal.
Ask your family to use the bathroom as frequently as possible. Tell them to remove their shoes and socks before entering, and see who can make the most disgusting mess. Clean the bathroom every hour throughout the night.
Make a narrow aisle between several dining room chairs and randomly scatter your husband's runners and loafers along the way. Turn off the lights and spend the night walking up and down the aisle while banging your shins against the chair legs and tripping over the shoes. Drink several cups of cold coffee to keep yourself awake.
Gently wake your family in the morning and serve them a muffin in a package. Don't forget to smile and wish them a nice day when they leave for work and school.
After the family leaves, take a suitcase and go out into the yard. If it's not raining, turn on the sprinkler system and stand in the cold for 30 minutes pretending like your waiting for the crew bus topick you up. Then go inside and wait by your bedroom door for another 30 minutes for an imaginary maid to make up your room.
Change into street clothes and shop for 5 hours. Pick up carry-outfood from a local deli. Go back home. Sit on your bed and eat your meal. Set your alarm clock for 03:00 am so you'll be ready incase you don't get your wake up call. Repeat the above schedule for three days in a row and you'll be ready to work your first international flight.
Every day, aspring flight attendants ask me to describe some of the benefits of a flight attendant career. I've outlined below what I think are ten of the most appealing aspects of the profession.
1. Enjoy a great deal of time off (13 to 17 days off per month; roughly 6 months off per year!).
2. Get free or reduced-cost travel benefits for yourself and immediate family, covering air travel, lodging, car-rentals, and cruises.
3. Get a lucrative benefits package, often including health and life insurance!
4. Enjoy unmatched variety - Forget the predictability of 9 to 5 cube life!
5. Enjoy maximum scheduling flexibility - You're not limited to weekends off like the rest of the world!
6. Meet new people, including many celebrities.
7. See the world.
8. Feel more independent.
9. Feel more responsible.
10. Feel a sense of pride and accomplishment (especially when you help an unaccompanied minor or handicapped passenger safely reach their destination).
11. Go on mini vacations and tell your friends all about it! One night your in Paris, then London and then home.
Type: Just for Fun - Inside Jokes
Description: 1. You can eat a 4 course meal standing at the kitchen counter
2. You search for a button to flush the toilet
3. You look for the "crew line" at the grocery store
4. You can pack for a 2 week trip to Europe in 1 roll-aboard
5. All of your pens have different hotel names on them
6. You NEVER unpack
7. You can recognize pilots by the backs of their heads-but not by their faces
8. You can tell from 70 yards away if a piece of luggage will fit in the overhead bin
9. You care about the local news in a city three states away
10. You can tie a neck scarf 36 ways
11. You know at least 25 uses for air sickness bags-none of which pertain to vomit
12. You understand and actually use the 24-hour clock
13. You own 2 sets of uniforms: fat and thin
14. You don't think in "months"-you think in "bid packs"
15. You always point with two fingers
16. You get a little too excited by certain types of ice
17. You stand at the front door and politely say "Buh-bye, thanks, have a nice day" when someone leaves your home
18. You can make a sentence using all of the following phrases: "At this time," "For your safety," "Feel free," and "As a reminder"
19. You know what's on the cover of the current issues of In Touch, Star, and People magazines
20. You stop and inspect every fire extinguisher you pass, just to make sure the "gauge is in the green"
21. Your thighs are covered in bruises from armrests and elbows
22. You wake up and have to look at the hotel stationery to figure out where you are
23. You refer to cities by their airport codes
24. You actually understand every item on this list
25. Everytime the door bell rings you look up at the ceiling.
26. You change into you "galley shoes" to cook dinner at home!
27. You open your bathroom doors at home slowly incase someone forgot to lock it.
28. You only know 250 or 350 degrees on your home oven
29. When you ask your spouse when they will be coming home from work you ask for their "ETA"
30. You can spot out an airplane from the ground above and tell the other person what airline it is!
31. You go through each room at your friends place looking for magazines to read!
32. You bring home different grocery bags full of goodies that you can't get in your home town! and tell a story about it!
33. You know better NOT to date a pilot!
34. Your a fire fighter, a nurse, a security officer and a server all in one!
35. Your a GREAT multi - tasker!
36. You have mastered the art of walking very quickly down the aisle and not catching anyone's eye.
37. Your at a friends party and you start wiping your hands on their curtains.
38.You call for the car doors to be armed and cross checked before pulling away.
39.you answer your phone by saying "Hi its ..... at "position"
40. when you try and put the foot brake on your shopping cart.
41.When releasing your seatbelt in the car, you try to 'lift the top portion of the buckle and pull apart" and are confused when you can't find it.
42. When sitting in the backseat of your friends car, you check the seat pocket for garbage.
43. when your friends or family ask what time it is, you ask in what time zone!
44. When you're really tired and are staying in for the night, you tell you're friends you're 'slam-clicking'.
45. you remember the hotel phone numbers better than your home phone number.
46. You see rubbish dropped on the floor in your own home and instead of bending down to pick it up, you kick it under the sofa.
47. You have 400 mobile numbers in your adress book of crew you still wanted to meet up with....but when you finally get the time and browes for numbers you cannot put their faces and names together!
48. You locate all the exits when on public transport and learn the door operations.
49. You are standing in an elevator in your hotel and cant remember what floor you're supposed to go to, or what your room number is.
50. You can never make definite plans, otherwise you know you'll be delayed/called out, for sure!
51. You can't help saying goodbye to friends or anyone without sounding patronising... "b'bye now.. bye!
52. when you've finished your dinner you throw the dirty plate in the cupboard and kick the door shut.
53. If you check your breast pocket for a pen when you are going to write a shopping list at home.
54. You automatically uncross your legs, sit back, and fold your arms across your lap when you hear an engine rev up, whether you're a passenger on a flight that day or just in the car!
55. Every time someone ask's a question your reply is ... 'Just bear with me, or standby...
56. when ur going out from the hotel on a layover u smile and greet ppl u meet in the lifts... and ur not even in uniform! lol
57. You take out one blanket from the overhead bin or closet....and you hide it behind your back, running fast so no one sees it so you can use it!!!!
58. You know the water gague is showing empty and you grab a bottle of water and start washing your hands!
59. You spin around in the aft galley and yell, i love my job, i love my job....
60. You carry around ultra concentrated spray for the smells that come out of the lavoratory to protect you and your fellow co-workers!
61. You carry around a sharpie marker!
62. You work 18 hour days then go home and start cleaning up after someone else!
63. You have soo much time off you have 2 jobs!
64. Your dead heading on a flight and your sleeping and you wake up when they say "doors for departure and cross check" or when you hear the high low chimes in the cabin!
65. You tell people to turn off their cellphones or ipods.
66. If someone is smoking you show them the sign and remind them not to smoke!
(updated for crew members, written by you!)
So you want to be a flight attendant?
Go to a resale store and find an old, navy suit that an army sergeant might have worn. Add a white shirt and a tie. Wear that same outfit for three consecutive days.
Go to an airport and watch airplanes take off for several hours. Pretend you are standing by for them and they are all full. Go home. Return to the airport the very next day and do the same thing again.
Fill several large boxes with rocks. Lift them over your head and place them on the top shelf of a closet. Slam the door shut until the boxes fit. Do this until you feel a disc slip in your back.
Turn on a radio. Be sure to set it between stations so there is plenty of static. Turn on the vacuum cleaner and garbage disposal. Run them all night.
Remove the covers from several T.V entrees. Place them in a hot oven. Leave the food in the oven until it's completely dried out. Remove the hot trays with your bare hands. Serve to your family. Don't include anything for yourself. Serve your family a beverage one hour after they've received their meal. Make them remain in their seats during this time. Ask them to scream at you and complain about the service. Scrounge uneaten rolls off the plates for you to eat 6 hours later when you're really hungry. Place a straight-backed chair in a closet facing a blank wall. Use a belt to strap yourself into it. Eat the rolls you saved from your family's meal.
Ask your family to use the bathroom as frequently as possible. Tell them to remove their shoes and socks before entering, and see who can make the most disgusting mess. Clean the bathroom every hour throughout the night.
Make a narrow aisle between several dining room chairs and randomly scatter your husband's runners and loafers along the way. Turn off the lights and spend the night walking up and down the aisle while banging your shins against the chair legs and tripping over the shoes. Drink several cups of cold coffee to keep yourself awake.
Gently wake your family in the morning and serve them a muffin in a package. Don't forget to smile and wish them a nice day when they leave for work and school.
After the family leaves, take a suitcase and go out into the yard. If it's not raining, turn on the sprinkler system and stand in the cold for 30 minutes pretending like your waiting for the crew bus topick you up. Then go inside and wait by your bedroom door for another 30 minutes for an imaginary maid to make up your room.
Change into street clothes and shop for 5 hours. Pick up carry-outfood from a local deli. Go back home. Sit on your bed and eat your meal. Set your alarm clock for 03:00 am so you'll be ready incase you don't get your wake up call. Repeat the above schedule for three days in a row and you'll be ready to work your first international flight.
Every day, aspring flight attendants ask me to describe some of the benefits of a flight attendant career. I've outlined below what I think are ten of the most appealing aspects of the profession.
1. Enjoy a great deal of time off (13 to 17 days off per month; roughly 6 months off per year!).
2. Get free or reduced-cost travel benefits for yourself and immediate family, covering air travel, lodging, car-rentals, and cruises.
3. Get a lucrative benefits package, often including health and life insurance!
4. Enjoy unmatched variety - Forget the predictability of 9 to 5 cube life!
5. Enjoy maximum scheduling flexibility - You're not limited to weekends off like the rest of the world!
6. Meet new people, including many celebrities.
7. See the world.
8. Feel more independent.
9. Feel more responsible.
10. Feel a sense of pride and accomplishment (especially when you help an unaccompanied minor or handicapped passenger safely reach their destination).
11. Go on mini vacations and tell your friends all about it! One night your in Paris, then London and then home.
Friday, 28 March 2008
T5 opening Chaos!!!!!! ( Terminal 5 Heathrow)
Oh dear what a day, after a long GRU-LHR i did not expect what was to follow.
Travelled from T1-T5 by train, quick journey but lots of walking.
Checked in and was put on Standby so went to Staff travel area where all went well and i was accepted.
Security and screening was a breeze then all went wrong.
We were told to go to gate A5 so we waited for boarding for a 0945 departure.
0935- told gate had changed and we were all herded to another stand on a lower level to be coached out.
1115- After standing in a freezing cold area for 1hour 30 minutes we boarded coaches and left for remote stand.
We had a very honest Captain who was obviously livid and angry as to what had happened, he and his crew had been sitting on a crew bus for two hours waiting for buses to empty the aircraft we were to board so inbound passengers were also angry.
We were told there had been no loaders, no tug drivers, no coaches, no coach drivers, no step drivers, he said he expected teething problems on day one but this time " ba had lost all their teeth".
Passengers were filiming him as he stood at the front of the cabin giving regular helpful updates.
He organised a bus to return to the aircraft as so many businessmen did not want to travel as they had already missed their meetings.
It was truely embarrassing but i do not put the blame totally on BA. I will agree there were a lot of lost groud staff walking around the terminal and lots of people milling about the gate not knowing what was happening which did infuriate a lot of passengers.
1330- After sitting on an aircraft for two hours we eventually took off arriving over three hours late.
I would like to Thank the Captain and the crew led my Psr Karen Willings on the BA1326 LHR-NCL, they made themselves available for questions, they served drinks on the ground and Karen was seen on two occasions allowing passengers to use her own personal mobile telephone to inform relatives/friends of the delay. I told her she should write a Bravo on herself!!!!
The BAA/BA name similarity is also causing confusion and passengers seem quite willing to blame BA when many of the problems were caused by BAA.
I would advise crew to travel light and not carry suitcases as we left with no bags and some commuting crew were still awaiting lost bags from previous flights so are now tracing two lots of luggage.
I am sure when it is all up and running it will be a fantastic terminal but i think today did not get us off to the best of starts.
Travelled from T1-T5 by train, quick journey but lots of walking.
Checked in and was put on Standby so went to Staff travel area where all went well and i was accepted.
Security and screening was a breeze then all went wrong.
We were told to go to gate A5 so we waited for boarding for a 0945 departure.
0935- told gate had changed and we were all herded to another stand on a lower level to be coached out.
1115- After standing in a freezing cold area for 1hour 30 minutes we boarded coaches and left for remote stand.
We had a very honest Captain who was obviously livid and angry as to what had happened, he and his crew had been sitting on a crew bus for two hours waiting for buses to empty the aircraft we were to board so inbound passengers were also angry.
We were told there had been no loaders, no tug drivers, no coaches, no coach drivers, no step drivers, he said he expected teething problems on day one but this time " ba had lost all their teeth".
Passengers were filiming him as he stood at the front of the cabin giving regular helpful updates.
He organised a bus to return to the aircraft as so many businessmen did not want to travel as they had already missed their meetings.
It was truely embarrassing but i do not put the blame totally on BA. I will agree there were a lot of lost groud staff walking around the terminal and lots of people milling about the gate not knowing what was happening which did infuriate a lot of passengers.
1330- After sitting on an aircraft for two hours we eventually took off arriving over three hours late.
I would like to Thank the Captain and the crew led my Psr Karen Willings on the BA1326 LHR-NCL, they made themselves available for questions, they served drinks on the ground and Karen was seen on two occasions allowing passengers to use her own personal mobile telephone to inform relatives/friends of the delay. I told her she should write a Bravo on herself!!!!
The BAA/BA name similarity is also causing confusion and passengers seem quite willing to blame BA when many of the problems were caused by BAA.
I would advise crew to travel light and not carry suitcases as we left with no bags and some commuting crew were still awaiting lost bags from previous flights so are now tracing two lots of luggage.
I am sure when it is all up and running it will be a fantastic terminal but i think today did not get us off to the best of starts.
Monday, 24 March 2008
Sao-Paulo Flight
It is becoming difficult to work and fly with junior Pursers, they work as if they are the only people who know how to do the job and have no faith in the invaluable experience they have working for them, i now have 20 years flying experience and do not appreciate the constant " are you ok" comments and " do you know what your doing".
This trip is a typical example of that and of British Airways blunders and miss-management, the two crew working on the upper deck, business class, 20 passengers, 4 pilots, apparently have had complaints from passengers about their inadequate service styles, this has been noted by th Senior crew member and she has asked me to do the rest of the trip upstairs as she nees experience up there, this does not bother me, what bothers me is the fact that i will have to cope with 4 demanding pilots, always wanting something and the busiest times,they will be asking for First Class food when they know they cannot have it so i will not even go down that road with them, i will remain consistant to company standards then i cannot be accountable if there is a problem.
Cathy Lloyd from pantomime days is First class Purser and she has Barry her husband with her, a nice guy but a heart attack waiting to happen as he is so overweight, he really should do something about that.
Cathy could not believe that i had not done a Pantomime since 2001 ( now 2008) and that i had not seen Andy since 2004 ( my 40th party).
I suppose the way i have secluded myself from the outside world has not helped, i did not attend Andy's 40th in Jersey when he came to mine, i have never been to see the last six Pantomimes since i left and i have heard of friends who were once close are now married and i did not know or even get an invite, maybe because people know they will be wasting their time as i always refuse to go anywhere or make excuses.
I did not even go to Peter's 50th in Belgium and he made such an effort to attend my 40th in 2004.
Shame on me!!!
I was just doing research on Bi-Polar disorder and it said the medication can cause weight gain.....NO WAY will i be taking any of those pills.!!!!
This trip is a typical example of that and of British Airways blunders and miss-management, the two crew working on the upper deck, business class, 20 passengers, 4 pilots, apparently have had complaints from passengers about their inadequate service styles, this has been noted by th Senior crew member and she has asked me to do the rest of the trip upstairs as she nees experience up there, this does not bother me, what bothers me is the fact that i will have to cope with 4 demanding pilots, always wanting something and the busiest times,they will be asking for First Class food when they know they cannot have it so i will not even go down that road with them, i will remain consistant to company standards then i cannot be accountable if there is a problem.
Cathy Lloyd from pantomime days is First class Purser and she has Barry her husband with her, a nice guy but a heart attack waiting to happen as he is so overweight, he really should do something about that.
Cathy could not believe that i had not done a Pantomime since 2001 ( now 2008) and that i had not seen Andy since 2004 ( my 40th party).
I suppose the way i have secluded myself from the outside world has not helped, i did not attend Andy's 40th in Jersey when he came to mine, i have never been to see the last six Pantomimes since i left and i have heard of friends who were once close are now married and i did not know or even get an invite, maybe because people know they will be wasting their time as i always refuse to go anywhere or make excuses.
I did not even go to Peter's 50th in Belgium and he made such an effort to attend my 40th in 2004.
Shame on me!!!
I was just doing research on Bi-Polar disorder and it said the medication can cause weight gain.....NO WAY will i be taking any of those pills.!!!!
Wednesday, 19 March 2008
New Car
I am in the throws of deciding whether to buy a new car or not. Mazda are doing a good deal of £1000 off for customer loyalty but probably over price the car to make the deal sound better when in fact they are getting their £1000 back.
Dad is interested in buying my three your old Mazda and i have offered it to him for a good price, i would give them my kidneys if i had too, it's a shame others are mean, tight and selfish, but then they will go to their graves with a guilty concious and i won't!!!
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!
Dad is interested in buying my three your old Mazda and i have offered it to him for a good price, i would give them my kidneys if i had too, it's a shame others are mean, tight and selfish, but then they will go to their graves with a guilty concious and i won't!!!
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, 17 March 2008
Scary!!!! Bi-Polar Disorder
Bipolar Screening Test
Look for signs of bipolar disorder
Read the following lists.
Put a check mark by each sign that sounds like you now or in the past:
Signs of mania (ups)
I feel like I'm on top of the world.
I feel powerful. I can do anything I want, nothing can stop me.
I don't seem to need much sleep.
I feel restless all the time.
I feel really mad.
I can't focus on anything for very long.
I sometimes can’t stop talking and I talk really fast.
I'm spending lots of money on things I don't need and can't afford.
Friends tell me that I've been acting differently. They tell me that I'm starting fights, talking louder, and getting more angry.
Signs of depression (downs)
I am really sad most of the time.
I don't enjoy doing the things I've always enjoyed doing.
I don't sleep well at night and am very restless.
I am always tired.
I feel like eating all the time.
I have lots of aches and pains that don't go away.
I have little to no sexual energy.
I find it hard to focus
I am mad at everybody and everything.
I feel upset and fearful, but can't figure out why.
I don't feel like talking to people.
I feel like there isn't much point to living, nothing good is going to happen to me.
I don't like myself very much. I feel bad most of the time.
I think about death a lot.
Look for signs of bipolar disorder
Read the following lists.
Put a check mark by each sign that sounds like you now or in the past:
Signs of mania (ups)
I feel like I'm on top of the world.
I feel powerful. I can do anything I want, nothing can stop me.
I don't seem to need much sleep.
I feel restless all the time.
I feel really mad.
I can't focus on anything for very long.
I sometimes can’t stop talking and I talk really fast.
I'm spending lots of money on things I don't need and can't afford.
Friends tell me that I've been acting differently. They tell me that I'm starting fights, talking louder, and getting more angry.
Signs of depression (downs)
I am really sad most of the time.
I don't enjoy doing the things I've always enjoyed doing.
I don't sleep well at night and am very restless.
I am always tired.
I feel like eating all the time.
I have lots of aches and pains that don't go away.
I have little to no sexual energy.
I find it hard to focus
I am mad at everybody and everything.
I feel upset and fearful, but can't figure out why.
I don't feel like talking to people.
I feel like there isn't much point to living, nothing good is going to happen to me.
I don't like myself very much. I feel bad most of the time.
I think about death a lot.
This sums up the UK in 2008
Subject: Passport Application
Dear Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport but I am at a total loss to understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through.
How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back in 1994, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?
How come that nice West African immigrant chappy who comes round every Thursday night with his DVD rentals van can tell me every film or video I have had out since he started his business up eleven years ago, yet you still want me to remind you of my last three jobs, two of which were with contractors working for the government?
How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on, what channel I am watching and whether I have paid my licence or not, and yet if I win the government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am and will keep the bloody money to themselves if I fail to claim in good time.
Do you people do this by hand?
You have my birth date on numerous files you hold on me, including the one with all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30-odd years. It's on my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last four passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes and boats over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done every ten years and the electoral registration forms I have to complete, by law, every time our lords and masters are up for re-election.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, I was born in Maidenhead on the 4th of March 1957, my mother's name is Mary, her maiden name was Reynolds, my father's name is Robert, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and the day I die!
I apologise Minister. I'm obviously not myself this morning. But between you and me, I have simply had enough! You mail the application to my house, then you ask me for my address. What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthals working there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to activate the Fifth Reich for God's sake! I just want to go and park my weary backside on a sunny, sandy beach for a couple of week's well-earned rest away from all this crap.
Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to back to Salisbury and get another copy of my birth certificate because you lost the last one. AND to the tune of 60 quid! What a racket THAT is!! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? But nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some tosser to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know... the one where we're not allowed to smile in in case we look as if we are enjoying the process!
Hey, you know why we can't smile? 'Cause we're totally jacked off!
I served in the armed forces for more than 25 years including over ten years at the Ministry of Defence in London. I have had security clearances which allowed me to sit in the Cabinet Office, five seats away from the Prime Minister while he was being briefed on the first Gulf War and I have been doing volunteer work for the British Red Cross ever since I left the Services. However, I have to get someone "important" to verify who I am -- you know, someone like my doctor... who, before he got his medical degree 6 months ago WAS LIVING IN PAKISTAN...
Yours sincerely,
An Irate Englishman.
Dear Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport but I am at a total loss to understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through.
How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back in 1994, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?
How come that nice West African immigrant chappy who comes round every Thursday night with his DVD rentals van can tell me every film or video I have had out since he started his business up eleven years ago, yet you still want me to remind you of my last three jobs, two of which were with contractors working for the government?
How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on, what channel I am watching and whether I have paid my licence or not, and yet if I win the government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am and will keep the bloody money to themselves if I fail to claim in good time.
Do you people do this by hand?
You have my birth date on numerous files you hold on me, including the one with all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30-odd years. It's on my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last four passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes and boats over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done every ten years and the electoral registration forms I have to complete, by law, every time our lords and masters are up for re-election.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, I was born in Maidenhead on the 4th of March 1957, my mother's name is Mary, her maiden name was Reynolds, my father's name is Robert, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and the day I die!
I apologise Minister. I'm obviously not myself this morning. But between you and me, I have simply had enough! You mail the application to my house, then you ask me for my address. What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthals working there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to activate the Fifth Reich for God's sake! I just want to go and park my weary backside on a sunny, sandy beach for a couple of week's well-earned rest away from all this crap.
Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to back to Salisbury and get another copy of my birth certificate because you lost the last one. AND to the tune of 60 quid! What a racket THAT is!! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? But nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some tosser to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know... the one where we're not allowed to smile in in case we look as if we are enjoying the process!
Hey, you know why we can't smile? 'Cause we're totally jacked off!
I served in the armed forces for more than 25 years including over ten years at the Ministry of Defence in London. I have had security clearances which allowed me to sit in the Cabinet Office, five seats away from the Prime Minister while he was being briefed on the first Gulf War and I have been doing volunteer work for the British Red Cross ever since I left the Services. However, I have to get someone "important" to verify who I am -- you know, someone like my doctor... who, before he got his medical degree 6 months ago WAS LIVING IN PAKISTAN...
Yours sincerely,
An Irate Englishman.
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