Funny!!

TEN THINGS NOT TO DO ON BOARD AN AIRCRAFT!

Here it is, the ultimate list of what NOT to do on board an aircraft or you risk being offloaded, downgraded or blown up.

1. Don’t press your call bell – this will have a flurry of dollies on you like a tramp on a sandwich.
2. Don’t say “Can I have another drink?” – this will infuriate even the calmest dolly and they’re sure to put bleach in your top up.
3. Don’t leave your seat – you WILL be in the way. The end.
4. If you MUST leave your seat, make sure the service is finished because we’re not letting you passed even if you’ve imploded.
5. If you have to travel with children then a gag or duct tape usually keeps them quiet. Failing that; Night Nurse and two Neurofen.
6. Asking for a special meal when you haven’t ordered one is like asking to borrow a dolly’s toothbrush – it ain’t gonna happen.
7. Complaining when the person in front reclines their seat to a dolly is pointless a bit like asking for that second drink.
8. Whinging when you have to hand over your boarding card is a bit like complaining when a mechanic wants to look at your flat tyre – it needs to happen; get over it.
9. If you must visit the bathroom, men, wear shoes, you know what you are like for poor aiming skills. Women, hurry the fuck up it’s not a day spa!
10. Claiming an overhead locker as ‘yours’ is like claiming that the Euromillions is too, unless you have proof then you’re a loser….especially if you’re in economy.