Making Megan's Memorial Photo Album

When Megan died on 7th December 2010 i was absolutely mortified but also wrapped up in so much drama and distress that i failed to realise how distraught i was really.

This week i have cried for Megan as i have tried to do an online photo album in her memory for Ged, the photographs of the holidays we had, the days at the beach, the drives in the car and walks to the park all came flooding back and she is a massive miss in our lives. The house is quiet, there is sometimes nothing to get out of bed for when i would normally have been up and out walking, the car still contains little memories and even the hoover has a few hairs in.

I have yet to get her collar and lead back after she last wore them to the vets and i know they will have her smell on them and i will just break down, all i want to do is hold her one more time, cuddle her and feel her in my arms but that will never happen as she is in a 8x4 wooden box on top of the fireplace, she still gets kissed and always will.

Even typing this has brought on the waterworks.

THE SAVOY

I have never stepped into an establishment and felt the warmth of it's staff, i was engulfed in riches, the best of everything was all around from the carpets to the Murano glass chandeliers in the rooms.
The views from the suites are incredible as the hotel is situated on the bend of the Thames so the Houses of Parliament, the London eye, the Gherkin, St Paul's catherdral are all framed in the panoramic view from both the bedroom window and the lounge area.
The bathroom is perfection, clean as clean can be, everything has its place and it placed perfectly, the free standing bath and walk in wet room were incredible.
If anyone wants a once in a lifetime treat please consider this option, you are in the heart of London on the Strand, the staff are passionate about everything they do and the experience all in all is wonderful.
The Savoy are a family, and their slogan "turning moments into memories" is everything it is all about summed up in four little words.....i could say it is one word.....perfection!!!

AT HOME

Today i met a family i wished i had met years ago in a place i did not know existed, i felt calming, warmth and once again i smiled.
I hope this family come into my life permanently so i be welcomed with open arms and return me to the person i used to be.

The joys of today have overwhelmed me to the point of excitement,i am like a child at Christmas.

Bring it on and Thank you so much!

Hospital Radio

This is the best thing i ever volunteered to do, i usually get there about 640pm at the hospital and at 7pm myself and a fellow volunteer go around the wards collecting music requests for the radio. My favourite ward was maternity as everyone was about to, or already celebrating, the rest of the hospital is obvsiously illnesses and sad people who are hurting with their pain. This is when you wish you had a magic wand and you could put it all right for them but you have to have a stiff upper lip and just carry on.
The first time i went i tool the little statue of Megan, the dog i cry for every single day, ( crying now just typing her name) i just want to stretch out my hand and stroke her lovely fur again, and massage her aching joints but i cannot, she was taken from us and i miss her terribly, there is only so much you can cope with at one time and presently i feel like the largest man you can imagine is sitting on my head pushing down, i have headaches daily but just continue with the day with a smile.
The station has 60,000+ tracks and these are all logged into a computer system, you can also play tracks from you tube, vinyl, mini disk, cd, and there are two fully equipped studios, really rewarding, maybe something i should take up as i can talk and talk!
I have nothing planned the next few days so will relax and chill out, maybe potter in the garden but even then i will see paw prints left by Megan and memories of her sitting in the garden in the summer, it's torture and i only wish it would all stop.
I really did not realise how many people read this blog, i was honestly just using it like a diary that you cannot lose, but i do have to be careful what i put on here, there are some horrible people out there who use this for other reasons and thats very sad!
Well if you're ever in hospital make use of the free hospital radio channel, remember that those you hear are devoting their time to entertain you, make a request, or ask a friend to check out the hospital very own radio website where you can leave a request online with a choice of times and days you would like it read out.
Get Well Soon everyone

Bournemouth

The Deal i received on the internet for Bournemouth turned out to be ok, the only disappointment was the fact the room advertised in the photo was the best room in the hotel so i did hear a few people who had checked in on the same deal complaining at reception.
The room was nice, clean and comfy, the tv was a flat screen and had all the free view channels.
On arrival we left car as too early to check in and went for a walk in the sea air, it really cleared the cobwebs which i needed, we browsed the shops then had lunch in Harry Ramsdens after that a stroll back to hotel to check in then it was a swim, sauna then jacuzzi.
Evening meal was great and breakfast the next morning was good too.
Quick one night stay but totally enjoyable.

Bored

Hate not working, get so bored, miss the camaraderie, miss the gossip and funny enough miss the customers. Been juggling rosters around dog walker/ sitter for almost 12 years and now we have Megan no more and I don't have that added stress I find myself off work, typical eh! Walked through the park today as a quick detour to get home and broke down as not been there since Megan died, it's still very raw and hard to control the emotions , I can stare and talk to her casket as now used to being in the house and accepting that she is not here, but she had been everywhere in a ten mile radius of our home so I cannot go anywhere without a memory, even Tesco, I took her once in car, I ran in for something, I opened car on return , put keys in ignition to put aircon on, went to the boot to put in bags, slammed the boot, she jumped on door and somehow the central locking and locked herself in, I had to run home and back with spare set of keys. I cancelled my hospital radio on Saturday as feeling so unwell, this flu coupled with uncontrollable diabetes and stress is making me so ill. I hope February is a good month, stressless and a peaceful nights sleep would be good.

What's gping on?

Lying in bed all day not wanting to move, is it because there is nothing to get up for ? Nothing except a larger tv in the lounge and a dishwasher to empty . I am not saying it's daily, sometimes I get up but stay in pyjamas and dressing gown all day without getting dressed. There has to be more to life than this, I suppose "normal" people go out with their friends, don't have any !, others may get invited to parties, weddings, stag do's, social events, I don't ! I was working out the other day when someone who I work with visited my home, it was 8 years ago, it's clean, tidy and tastefully done. I have a neighbour who pops in on occasions but that's dropped off now we don't have our dog anymore so I am wondering who they were actually visiting. I am currently on bed feeling very ill with flu, sneezing, coughing, aches, pains and a horrible headache verging on a migraine. At least I have an excuse to stay in bed now, plenty fluids I would be told if at my parents house, jugs of water full of honey and lemons , it worked for mum! Today is another boring, lonely day, dancing on ice is on , part two, come on Denzy Squelch I am rooting for you, not because you're the best skater but you make me laugh with your sense of humour! What I don't agree with are personal Statements re- written by a third party, very illegal!!!!