OCD the next step

Having Obsessive compulsive disorder really takes over your life, it does not allow you to function properly on a daily basis and the days are taken up completing silly tasks, once they are out of the way i can relax.
I have a terrible fear of others dying, how will i cope, what will it be like, when will it happen, i also fear for my own life, if i get a pain in my chest i diagnose myself with a stroke or heart attack, the numbness in my left hand does not help matters, and now i have pains in my joints in both hands so i suppose that is early signs of arthritis.
Why is it, all the people i love are old and will only have a few years left, even my dog is getting older, being able to enjoy their life on this planet is not easy when all you think of is their deaths, funerals, trying to get on with life if they were not here anymore, what will it be like? CHRIST!!!! they are not dead yet, why does this fill my mind daily, when will it all stop.
The psychologist appointment is coming up soon so maybe she will have the answers, i do hope so as i don't!!!!
I have a fear of dying on an aeroplane while working or in some hotel room when no one finds me until they realise i have not shown up for the flight home, or even worse, something happens at home when i am away and i miss saying goodbye!! That would be soul destroying!
For now i battle on in my quest to try and lead as normal a life as is possible while having OCD, this is nothing i discuss with anyone, no one knows and no one will. I do not look for sympathy or pity, i have learnt to mind my own business, keep myself to myself and tend to my "own" garden.
Not that anyone cares, by being lonely and slightly reclusive no one ever finds out about what goes on in my life, i have cut myself off from the real world, no friends call me, no friends visit me, i have no social life and rarely leave the house.
Also no one ever asks if i am OK as i show now signs of what is really going on, so i look like a happy go lucky guy who likes a laugh and a joke.
The Citalopram have helped me feeling so low all the time, they have also stopped me crying so much when alone, however, i still get tearful when i watch some sloppy sad movie, or read about cruelty to animals.
I can only hope things can improve, i really want my life back, i want a future but it is one step forward two steps back all the time and this cannot go on..