Friday 29 February 2008

In New York

It is always odd being here once i have been here with family or Ged, i remember places we went together and sometimes due to the loneliness of the job i wish they were with me now to save spending the trip alone.
This trip is really hard work and goes like this:-
Friday-Heathrow New York land 230am uk time
Saturday-New York-Heathrow
Sunday-Land 0800
Monday-Heathrow-New York land 1030pm uk time
Tuesday-New York Heathrow
Wednesday-land 0900

So basically by day five i am on my fourth Atlantic crossing, my third night out of my bed and the eighth meal service.The trip is worth £550.00 for six days in allowances at the rate of $1.99 to £1.00, this is a great rate for us for shopping here, i remember with my previous airline it was a similar rate but that was in late 80's early 90's when we used to stay in Bangor Maine and do flights down to orlando and Dominican Republic then back to Bangor, long days but fun on the L1011 Tristar.

This Morning on Depression

I have been suffering from depression for some years now, i was prescribed anti-depressants but only took them on and off and not taken them now for over a year.
A morning tv show called "this morning" was doing a piece on "depression" so i emailed them and i received a return email saying that they may use my example in the show the following day.
One part of me was excited as someone had reached on and able to help and give some professional advice, the other part of me was nervous that someone would recognise my story and put 2 and 2 together, i was also nervous within myself that my story was going, or maybe aired live on uk television.
I am actually watching it now as i type and up to now i have not been mentioned even though my email to them was anonymous.

Wednesday 27 February 2008

27th Feb 2008

A strange day today, i had it all planned, walk dog, go to Tesco's shopping, call vet to arrange an appointment but i did all but the vet call, i suppose if he finds something awful wrong with Megan i then have cause to worry properly rather than speculate or pretend everything is ok.

She did limp this morning briefly but has been fine, Angela my dog walker told me one of her other dogs that she walks has a similar problem and with medication from the vet has turned back into a spritely puppy so i don't know why i am putting it off so long.

Mam and Dad are in Richmond Yorkshire for a two night break and " good for them" i say, they deserve that and much more in my eyes, shame others don't think like me but that's another blog entry!!!!!

Richmond is a lovely town, nice buildings and quite historic so i am sure they will be walking a lot and taking it all in.




Sunday 24 February 2008

Off to Abuja Nigeria 24th Feb

This is a trip which is lucrative in one respect and vile in the other, Firstly the allowances are good, the flight is fairly short compared to other longhaul flights, the duty free is extremely busy and there will be no breaks for the crew, the duty dree commission has been over £100.00 per person on some flights, maybe less this evening as it is a B777 and not a B747.
The photographs below are the Intercontinental hotel which is stuck in th 70's, these pictures were taken on my last trip when i was graced with the bright orange floor, other floors can be bright blue, vivid green or if your lucky and updated floor wirh neutral colours which is what i would hope for.
The internet runs very slowly and is almost a waste of money but it passes the time as we are confined to the hotel complex and not allowed out.
The country is dangerous and corrupt, the people can be quite rude in their culture and like to "hiss" to attract people's attention which in the uk is classed as unpolite and rude. Similar to India where they shake their heads from side to side but will not say thank you as this action is a way of saying thank you in india, so once you understand people's cultures it is easy to understand them and how different we can be a British and we are not always right.




Saturday 23 February 2008

My cousins trip to London

They eventually arrived and i drove them to my house arriving about 10pm, we were all tired and had a long day ahead of us the following day so after a good natter and a cup of tea we all went to bed.
We were up at 8am the next morning (21st Feb) and caught the train into London Waterloo at 0930, we picked up the tickets for the London Eye and had a great time on it, it is an enormous structure, far bigger than you think and really high.
From there we tooka boat ride down the Thames as far as the Millenium Dome ( now the O2) and back to Embankment, we walked to Covent Garden and had lunch and a browse then we walked to Regent Street, Oxford Street, Hyde Park, and then ended up at Harrods, we took a taxi from Harrods back to Waterloo station as our legs and feet were aching and we were home by 6pm.
The following day we went to Kingston-Upon-Thames which is a lovely quaint shopping town, very up market but affordable and on the river too, we had coffee/hot chocolate down by the river before Joan ( the shopaholic) browsed every shop in the town.
We were home by 3pm and the next day (23rd..My Birthday) we had breakfast and i opened my presents and cards then i drove them to the airport at 130pm for their
405pm flight to Newcastle, it took off 40 minutes late but made up time so they landed at 1728 instead of 1710.
I do hope they come back as it is nice to eventually get to know my cousins and family a little better after many years of just acknowledging their existence and taking for granted that they were "there".
The loss of family members in the past has made me realise how short life is and how precious people are.
I have lost my brother and his family so have to gain love and laughs from other sources and forget they exist.
I don't think i have despised anyone like my brother and his wife and "one" nephew, the other one is a lost soul anyway and would not know what was going on, they have all been poisoned from me by the evil mother who rules the roost, calls the shots, wears the trousers and decides who speaks to me and who doesn't.
I hope in years to come they come down to earth with a huge bang and eat dirt!!!








Wednesday 20 February 2008

Visitors

My two cousins Jacqueline and Joan are arriving this evening (20/02/08) from Newcastle by air but due to massive fog disruption at Heathrow ( yes weather still causes problems) the flights are all delayed.
The 0945 took off as 1350 and the 1210 was cancelled. The 1505 is estimating 1700 and their flight at 1755 is yet to be given a departure time. I do hope they get here or our trip into town tomorrow and the pre paid London eye tickets will be completely disrupted and probably lose the money.
I will update the entire visit ( if they get here) in a later blog!!



Tuesday 19 February 2008

TURBULENCE!!!!

"Getting paid to travel the world"...familiar sounding words to many established cabin crew who are seen by many outside the industry as part of the glamourous international 'jet set'.

But what happens when the glamour turns to grief and the travel to trauma? For behind the 'plastic' smile, the groomed fascade and the creasless uniform lies a conflicting and complicated balance of home and work life, professional and personal relationships and a confusing, complex mis of both inner and outer dialogue.

So how do crew manage the 'two' marriages: the requirement to be at the behest of the airline's flight schedules versus the investment in personal relationships with friends/family and partners on the ground? How do they deal with the often hidden and unseen mental challenges of flying at 35,000 feet whilst trying to keep their feet 'firmly on the ground'? These emotional dichotomies can become greater when you also factor in the physical realities of the job such as sleep deprivation, jet lag and dehydration. As we secure the passengers in during bad weather how do we also ensire our own emotional security during the 'turbulence' of the flying lifestyle?

Working as a crew member for over 20 years i have noticed several main personality types are drawn to the flying role. Many crew fall into the category of 'rescuer'. The job requires us to be caring, so individuals who gain self-worth and self-esteem by helping others are naturally drawn to the role.
This can often lead to the 'swan' mentality, meaning that aboce the surface we appear natural,calm and graceful but underneath the water our legs are going like crazy.

As we are constantly flying with different teams of people there is an expectation to show one's 'happy/polished' face, the mask we wear to cover any underlying problems or issues. It's often hard to reveal all of oneself early on with people whom you don't really know so the sharing of meaningful deel emotions or problems becomes a challenge.
Being away for Christmas,birthdays and concern for loved ones back home are often things we are expected to ' deal with' and we're not supposed to let it get in the way of doing a professional job. This is exacerbated when the family/people back home assume we are away 'living it up' and always having a better time than they are.

Crew are also very good at bonding quickly and supporting each other, which are just some of the qualities for which we are recruited. But how do we make often brief, fleeting work relationships hold more meaning? Again crew tend to disclose a lot of personal detail very quickly in order to cement a foundation for working together well as a team. However working with different crews all the time can sometimes lead to a tendency to repeat the same life problems to new people on every trip and therefore never really moving forward with psychological issues and effectively being stuck in a ' holding pattern' and never quite having to 'come into land'.

A common coping mechanism for the dilemmas that the role of flying can bring is what we call the 'box' mentality. Crew can often put each issue in a seperate mind 'box',close the lid and then deal with each thing one at a time depending on whether they are in the air dealing with domestic things or down route when both domestic and work issues can overlap.However when flying around the world all the time, it can become all too easy to feel that you are never in one place long enough to look seriously at any one 'mind box' and that's when eventually the lumps and bumps of life's turbulence can come along and shake everything up.

There are many differing ways that crew use to deal with these kind of 'internal' or hidden stressors inherent in our jobs. For example some have different personal life and work life 'personas' where they may use the uniform as a fascade. This is in many respects a necessary prerequisite but can sometimes lead to a sense of ' i don't know who the real me is anymore'.

Some crew can use the job as a form of 'escapism' from problems or issues on the ground and the fact that working with different people all the time allows them to remain psychologically 'static' constantly going around the same, often limiting, thought patterns.

Other crew attempt to anaesthetise any hidden pain or stresses with alcohol, which has become an accepted and often ' expected' social element of the job, particularly downroute. Of course it is vital to monitor one's drinking habits and to always question what is actually motivating you to pour the next drink?

Whilst we are trained to deal with and recognise the mid flight ' turbulence' in our jobs it is often too easy to overlook the more subtle, often hidden, but nevertheless still significant turbulence that occurs on our personal 'life journeys'. Never feel ashamed of afraid to reach out for support for yourself if you need a hand to 'fasten your own seatbelt' from time to time.

Sunday 17 February 2008

Dream Analysis

My dreams last night i doubt will need someone to analyse them as they were pretty easy to decipher.
I dreamt that a close family member had been shot and i had to break the news to their spouse, this was to prove that once it is too late to make-up there is no going back and you are then faced with life long regret.

My other dream was about the Pantomime society i used to belong too winning a national competition giving them all national fame and attention. I regretted ever leaving as to be part of that would have been good ( if it were more than a dream).

Attention seeking is like a cry for help, if you don't succeed in the basic little hints you drop you move a step further and then a step further until things could easily get out of hand.

Looking forward to my two cousins coming to stay for 4 days, i am taking them on the wheel (London Eye) and anything else they would like to do.

Found a great article about decorating bedrooms and there is a picture which is how i have imagined the spare large bedroom to look so i am keeping it as all the items have website addresses for ordering purposes, the great silver/duck egg blue wallpaper is from Harlequin and we have had that before when we had the flat in Wst Wimbledon and £31.00 per roll,inexpensive if your reading this in the year 2029, but it's 2008 so that the going rate, petrol is £103.00 per litre and television licence is £135.00 per year, BA have four years to go before they receive their Airbus A380 double decker aircraft and Singapore Airlines received their A380 this year and it flies Singapore-Sydney only.

Singapore Airlines A380 and and artists impression of what the British Airways A380 will look like.


Saturday 16 February 2008

Hong Kong February 14-18th 2008

The Crew Hotel "Excelsior" Hong Kong



It is such a strange job i do, i spend so much time alone i sort of love my own company, things do get lonely though and today as i waited and waited for Rhapsody Of The Seas to sail it started to rain and i just sat on the cold concrete by the harbour and let the rain fall on me, i could have cried, but i thought if i get really wet i could feel even more sorry for myself.

I do enjoy taking pictures of cruise ships, i sort of have the attraction to them as i did for aeroplanes when i was 10-11 years old, now i do that job i have gone off them altogether, it is a sort of " glamourous from the outside looking in".

I bought two pairs of jeans today and will give them both to Ged as they do not fit me ( boo hoo!!!!) Also got a twin set for mam for her birthday and some nice costume jewellery for Mothers day on 2nd March which is really early this year as usually around Mam's birthday, 25th-26th.

Also bought locks, luggage tags and luggage straps as really paranoid about losing my luggage again so taking no risks.

I do feel like i am suffering from depression, i have a constant feeling of death around me all day, my thoughts are:- What will i do when mam dies??? What will i do when dad dies? Who will die first? Who will cope better on their own? What will i do when Megan dies? How will i cope with that, indeed how will i cope with anything but it does torture me on a daily basis. I never seek help as i always think i can manage this myself but how far can one cope alone without help before something snaps.

I have not had a conversation with anyone for two days now as this job is getting worse for socialising, i do have 17 years left flying and i sometimes wish it was 17 days as it is not like it used to be in th 80's, back then when i was in my twenties i was always told by the older crew then " it is not like it was in the 60's-70's, this is obviously a generational thing and it's true.
Companies these days are all into profit profit profit, yes it is important for a successful business but to not have any respect or care for your workforce is a bad thing, it creates bad feeling and low morale, this often is carried forward to our customers through attitude and unhappy, tired faces.

I must admit having my suitcase returned was like winning the lottery and i will never put anything of value inside it ever again, lesson learnt!!!!


A lovely boat lit up



A rare sight in Hong Kong is the typical Chinese Junk WITH the sails in full use.




It had just been Chinese New Year so some of the decorations still adorned buildings and boats.


Rhapsody of the Seas ready for it's 7 night cruise around Asia.

Monday 11 February 2008

Cape Town January 2008

Approaching Cape Town Airport



This was a great trip as i had arranged to meet Glenn, Naomi and little baby Katcha, their house built into Table mountain was amazing as were their 5 dogs, a huge Massive German version of our Mountain rescue ( snorbits) type dog, 2 border collies and 2 huskies.

They picked me up in a silver Porche which turned some heads and mine just trying to squeeze into the back.

Dinner was candelit and a heater as it gets chilly in the evenings, they paid for it all and took me back to the hotel after being accelerated to Mach2 as Glenn stepped on the gas in this to die for sports car!!

View from their balcony right onto the glorious city of Cape Town


Benny is bigger than me!!!



Lovely adorable Katcha




Table mountain from the outdoor pool



The Stunning House



Glenn and his Macaw ( and it talks)

Sunday 10 February 2008

Samsonitegate is over!!!!

I was in Los Angeles and i received a text from www.expressbaggage.com to say my suitcase had shown up and i had to text back an address they could deliver it too.
This i did and within 5 hours Ged text me to say it had arrived and it was mine.
I was worried my jewellery and laptop would be missing but as you see by previous posts i am typing in lower case and the type is not all over the place like it was.

I was as excited to see my suitcase as i was to see Megan the dog and she is my life and best friend so to see all my things was great.

The washing was not even smelly after being in there for six weeks and i have enjoyed doing the laundry today however i will make this "lesson learnt"...laptops have NO place inside a suitcase and neither has any other valueables. I will also tape my name and address inside the case and have a name and contact number on the outside as well.

I hope never to have to go through this again as living out of a suitcase up to 180 days a year it is like home from home for crew and we carry things around the world that others don't eg family photographs and many other personal items.

Welcome Home Suitcase and Never do that again!!!!!

Monday 4 February 2008

DAY 32

WELL IT IS DAY 32 WITH N0 SIGN 0F MY LUGGAGE AND THE GUY AT HEATHR0W WH0 W0RKS IN THE BAGGAGE DEPARTMENT WH0 WAS HELPING ME SEEMS T0 HAVE DISAPPEARED 0FF THE FACE 0F THE EARTH.
I PURCHASED S0ME REPLACEMENT T0ILETRIES 0N MY LAST TRIP IN SEATTLE AND I W0ULD L0VE
T0 BE ABLE T0 REPLACE MY TIFFANY JEWELLERY AND MY LAPT0P BUT IT WILL N0T BE P0SSIBLE RIGHT N0W DUE T0 FINANCES.
IN TW0 DAYS TIME I WILL BE ATTENDING MY TERMINAL 5 T0UR 0RGANISE BY BA AND THAT
SH0ULD BE INTERESTING APART FR0M THE FACT MEGAN WILL BE AL0NE UNTIL I GET H0ME BUT MAY TRY AND SNEAK AWAY EARLY.
THE R0STER C0MES 0UT T0M0RR0W EVENING (TUESDAY 5TH FEBRUARY 2008) F0R MARCH S0 I WILL KN0W IF I HAVE BEEN R0STERED MY TRIP REQUEST T0 0PERATE THE FIRST FLIGHT INT0 TERMINAL 5 0N 27TH MARCH FR0M H0NG K0NG-IT SH0ULD RECEIVE A L0T 0F TV AND MEDIA
C0VERAGE BUT KN0WING MY LUCK THIS YEAR I WILL N0T GET THE TRIP.!!!!


MY SADLY MISSED TIFFANY JEWELLERY!!!