Merry Christmas

It's the 25th December, I'm trying so hard to put all the awful past behind me but without a solution it's always in my thoughts. Mum was not well this morning, my brothers wife's father has cancer, we ate mourning the loss of Megan still with this being our first Christmas without her in 12 years. I received some nice gifts, a video camera, Blu ray player, 15carat gold tie pin, dress shirt studs, socks, diabetic chocolates, books, shirt, jumper , slippers, and some lovely cufflinks that photos can be put into so Megan will be with me when I wear them. Could not eat all my dinner today, the diabetes tablets cause me to lose appetite so left half of it but it was lovely, and thank goodness for dishwashers as the washing up would be horrendous. Have lots of visiting to do mostly if not all Ged's family and friends, not many family alive now to visit and even my brother did not wish me a merry Christmas on the phone, in fact I never even got to speak to him, not particularly bothered about anyone else they have made their position crystal clear, I'd rather not bother at than be fake or indeed others being fake and false , or as it has been put in the past "civil" in public, it's all or nothing with me but I cannot be accused of not trying if others wish to be stubborn then so be it, my life is empty mist of the time so it makes little difference to me but find find it all very sad and childish. I am hoping 2011 brings me peace and happiness , so many colleagues thinking of me right now and probably so many reading this from the good to the bad to the ugly and not forgetting the two faced back stabbing scabs, yep, you know who you are and what you have done!!! May you forever lower your heads in shame as I walk with mine held high even after all the drama and upset I have been through. I am currently looking fit another job, I cannot work for a company who has so much disrespect for it's workforce and for employees who cannot see past the ends if their own noses and would rather feather their own nests than fight for a decent future ! Happy new year everyone Xxx