2230pm

Wow, just had an overwhelming wave of sadness, bouts of these are frequent when alone. I am using this blog as my own personal diary to look back on when things improve and I will see what a dark place I was in. 2500 hits on my blog OMG, who is reading this drivel, well, if you know me you will have done idea where I am coming from, if you don't you will have no idea where this is going or where it will end. Boredom is dangerous, fear of stepping outdoors is scary, panic attacks when you know you have to go out, I lock myself in the car when driving, I feel safe on an airplane as sealed inside, i only wish people would realise what I struggle with on a daily basis, I have to go to the supermarket tomorrow and stressing about it already. It's really no way to live and exist but what other choice do I have. With all this time on my hands the only positive is I have been able to be with Megan 24/7 , if I had trips it would be a nightmare right now. How can doctors not explain the effects of illnesses and the symptoms involved, it was like being Jekyll and Hyde with a blood glucose level of 16.5. At least I have that under control but the outcome of it's high levels are yet to be decided. If I offended anyone I would like to sincerely apologise from my heart but I had no idea what was going on.