Last nights nightmare.

When you dream and the dreams turn into nightmares on a regular basis it really does affect you and your day . Last nights nightmare was becoming unemployed at the age of 46 in the middle of a global recession and feeling like a complete failure and a let down to family and friends. I have strived all me life for success but it always knocked on someone elses door and bypassed me so I was quite happy to say goodbye to responsibility and take a back seat when it came to anything that needed an individual to make an executive decision about. What the future holds "God" only knows but I will have my parents support no matter how much they try to hide their disappointment. I am anything but a criminal, never ever brought police to my parents door as a child, never stole and was raised to be kind to others and respect your elders. We all have fall outs with friends and I have had my fair share of those, I cannot believe I fell out with some of my best friends in a way that would seem to come from a person possessed, not that i am but the diabetes mixed with stress can alter a persons persona and way of thinking, it can also make you behave in a way completely out of character and when the doctor confirmed this last week it dotted the i's and crossed the t's and explained a lot to me which has left me in shock. I have been advised that diabetes is very very hard to control when crossing major time zones and having disrupted sleep patterns as it affects the times of medication. I just hope others will understand this and know I have the condition all under control and would love to get my life back now and return to his things were, I want 2011 to Neva happy, healthy, stress free year.