Sofa Sleeping

Being on my own until Saturday and worrying that Megan will try and get upstairs or need to go into the garden has banished me from the bedroom to the sofa. I was watching trashy tv and re runs on Fawlty Towers until 0200 then Megan woke me at 0715 so I'm shattered as well as being bored. Freezing cold outside too but have to keep heating on low or Megan pants quite heavily, she has always managed to get her own way as she is a dominant dog but so loving and affectionate. What is love???? Is it being monogamous to one person, is it still having butterflies in your stomach and and tingling sensation in the base of your back when you're with them? Is it missing them when apart, or laughing and enjoying every second when together? Is it making joint decisions or just having them around that makes you smile. I think I have only truly been loved once, I miss being held, I miss the affection and intimacy, although I am in a relationship I may as well be single, we both have allowed this to happen and also having no friends or anyone to confide in I find myself airing my dirty washing on my blog hoping one day I will log in and someone will have commented and offered a solution and show me the light at the end of a very long tunnel. Supposed to be grocery shopping today but it's 1330 and not even dressed, no Motivation to go at all, the fear I guess..